Dear Max,

My faith in prayer has been restored. I was faithful in my prayer life even though my heart was not completely in it. I have recently been praying for a woman who had 3 miscarriages and was pregnant with her 4th. She had a rough road through her pregnancy and gave birth to her precious little girl at 24 weeks 3 days. I was and still am praying so hard for that little girl and her family. I was so desperate to know that my prayers had meaning. I was praying that she would born alive with little to no complications and it sounds like that is the case. Of course being born so early she is most definitely not out of the woods yet and needs all the prayers she can get. I was holding my breath through the days of silence from her mother’s blog and I was so relieved that baby Ana was born alive and has so far been successful in the NICU. I praise God that he helped this family through the difficult birth and I pray that he helps Ana thrive in the NICU and is able to go home with her loving parents. Here is the link to her story if anyone is interested in it:

https://clanksmama.wordpress.com/2015/01/29/our-heart-is-in-the-nicu-anas-birth-story-and-week-23/

The other amazing(or at least amazing to me) thing was that yesterday morning I was saying my daily prayers out of my devotion books and decided to say A prayer to St. Therese that was in the front of the book. In this prayer we ask for “St. Theres to pick a rose from the Garden of Heaven and send it to us as a sign of love”. Usually after saying this prayer you are supposed to see a rose somewhere. Lately through my prayers I have been feeling God telling me to make sure I look at all the little details and in unlikely places. Yesterday afternoon as I checked my email I received an email with the subject line “Jennifer, Will you accept this rose?” I could not believe it! Now it was just a silly email for rose colored lipgloss from a company that I have purchased stuff from, but that subject line! Just like when I wrote in my earlier posts on this blog about some things being too much of a coincidence to only be a coincidence. This was the rose that I had asked for that morning in my prayers! All we have to do is ask a simple question and keep our eyes open. The answers are there, and no, we are not going to like the answer every single time, but God knows what is best for us and what will bring us closer to Him. The devil will take advantage of every weakness and every trial we go through to try and separate us from Him. Just like God is everywhere, the devil is everywhere too and is fight for our souls as hard as he can. Do not let him deceive you, God is always there even when you don’t think he is. God is an all loving all powerful God. He is our Father and wants what is best for us just like our earthly parents do. He will say no sometimes, not because He doesn’t love, but because HE DOES LOVE YOU! UNCONDITIONALLY! He wants what is best for you and if what you want will cause you pain or suffering, He will say no. The nos that we get from him may also cause us pain and suffering, but it is very possible that if He had said yes it may set us up for even more pain and suffering than the answer of no does. I don’t know if that makes sense in writing, but it makes sense in my head. 🙂

I love you little Max. Thank you so much for your prayers, they are most definitely helping.

I Love you always and forever, even though I am finally moving forward and the sadness has lessened you are still on my mind every single day, and I don’t ever want you to leave.

Love always and forever,

Mommy

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